connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize