just come out here and I will go home with you...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
