even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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