Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
