Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize