I got chris browned last night
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
