try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
