my soul wont recognize me after tonight
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Let's get the cat blown out
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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