I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
