Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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