Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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