I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
