oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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