i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
