whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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