I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
