why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
