Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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