I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize