He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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