I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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