he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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