she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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