I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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