somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
