oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
