Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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