I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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