fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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