so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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