Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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