I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
