Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
