Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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