I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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