Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
