Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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