I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
