Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
