that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
