my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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