So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
