I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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