she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
