I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
