Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize