Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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