I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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