On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
