The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
