Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
