I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
