Do you still have your period?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
