Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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