Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
