Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
