Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize