I need help removing her.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
