I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
