i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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