They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
we're so committed to being not committed
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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