the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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