Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize