Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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