How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
