I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize